The Second Spinal Tap

 Blog #4 May

Have you ever had a spinal tap? If you hadn't, this post may or may not sway you if you ever need one done in the future. Because had I known that it could go like this, I probably would have never agreed. I had been lucky with the first one. Apparently, they don't all go that smoothly. 

So, the resident came in with the whole set up. He had cleaned himself up and was preparing everything. He asked the nurse to get me into position. The 'position' is slightly bent with my back arched for easy access to my spine. You may think you know how to do this, but you don't. I had to be moved three times before I had gotten this right. If I was smart,

I would have asked how many times this particular resident had done this. But I wasn't smart and I didn't know that, that particular question would have been a good one to ask. 

Then finally they get me into position and I do my very best not to move from it. I am leaning over on a stand that has a pillow on it to make it somewhat comfortable for myself. But honestly, unless you are a contortionist, you are never really comfortable in this position. 

So now, Mr. Resident-Man is now rubbing iodine onto my back and explaining what is going to happen. He is going to numb my back with a series of shots that are going to feel like bee stings. (They will not feel like bee stings.) Once I am numb, he is going to insert the needle into my back. I won't feel it, but I will feel pressure. I may feel discomfort or a sharp pain in my legs and to let him know if that happens and which leg it is in so he can move the needle accordingly. Fantastic. Also, the most important rule, do not move.

Now, you may be wondering why I didn't know all of this from the first spinal tap. And that is because, I honestly wasn't paying attention at the time. I was so nervous and my head hurt so bad, that I was willing to let them do whatever they wanted, no questions asked. Which is a bad policy, don't ever do that. Especially in a hospital.

Back to Mr. Resident-Man. He does his bee sting circle. That honestly feels more like tiny little needles being inserted into your back a punch of different times. He waits a moment and then he inserts the long needle that will insert the tube to collect the spinal fluid. The worst feeling, in my opinion, is feeling that needle scrape against the spinal bones. I don't think I can even put into words what it feels like. It just makes my skin crawl. Even when just thinking about it. 

So he pushes the needle a little further in and I yelp a little bit in pain. He asks which side I felt the pain on. The left side, right side, or in the middle. I told him that it felt like the middle. But honestly, I'm just thinking about the pain that I didn't feel the last time, and have no idea where the pain came from. 

I feel him take the needle out and put it back in again. Again, I feel the needle scrape bone. Another shot of pain comes and this time I tell him I felt it on my left side. He moves the needle. Yet another sharp pain. This time on the right side.

HE TAKES THE NEEDLE BACK OUT AND PUTS IT BACK IN AGAIN. By this time, I am gripping that stand in front of me so tight, my hand actually hurts. And I endure the same thing over again for the third time in this procedure.

FINALLY, the regular doctor comes in and takes over. He has the resident stand next to him as he explains what he is doing while he is doing it. This time, I had one bone scrape and no other problems. They get the spinal fluid and put me on my back. The doctor is nice enough to have the nurse give me some morphine to help with all the pain while I wait to be taken to my room.

The very nice nurse does just that and I have myself a small nap from being knocked out from the morphine. And in case you were wondering, no, it didn't make the headache go away. But at least the spinal tap gave me something else to focus on for a little bit. 

See you Sunday! Stay Unique, Rare & Unicorn-Like.